I see those feelings much more in my daughter with her meltdowns. It feels like meltdowns are triggered by sensory triggers related to overwhelm, anxiety, shock, startle or fear. I think the whole thing that makes it hard to differentiate is that there is no clear definition of meltdown or tantrum.īut something I’ve noticed with my daughter and in my practice is that tantrum emotions are usually associated with feelings like anger or frustration, maybe even sadness. I always say, you could even have a split screen of the exact same scene playing out, identical, but what’s going on underneath can be very different. People often forget that a part of sensory is your interoception (heart rate, body temperature), and you can have a hard time noticing it but it can trigger your emotions and can come out as a meltdown.Ī lot of my daughter’s meltdowns start from something that looks like a tantrum. But meltdowns can just encompass really big emotions, especially anxiety. So, sometimes people call them sensory meltdowns. I went down the line of things but nothing I did was right. She’ll complain about the chair being too far, so I’ll scoot it in, then it was too close, then too far again. But when I give in to “what she wants”, it’s never what she wants. The antecedent before a meltdown can make it look like a tantrum. It’s because my child is already dysregulated from not enough sleep or from school that day or from anxiety. However, it’s not BECAUSE of not getting the cookie or not going to the park. Laura: I also feel like meltdowns, in our house, can also step from not getting the cookie or not going to the park. If it lasts longer than that, then it’s more of a problem than a tantrum. Lockhart: I’ve seen that as well, typically 10-15 minutes. I haven’t seen it in the literature, though, but it seems less duration.ĭr. But if you give in then tantrums give in, and tears end. But tantrums have a very clear need that they want, so whether it’s a cookie or more time with a toy or tv. Sometimes that screaming and crying, rolling helps them regulate, and we’re standing there with our hands on our hips like “This is ridiculous, you got what you wanted.”, when it wasn’t about what they wanted, it was about their body needing to balance out. They’re having meltdowns because their central nervous system is panicked, and they’re trying to regulate and survive. So, kids aren’t having meltdowns because they have a demand or request. There is a trigger that’s like “I need to feel safe” and have a release to feel safe. SO it’s a clear want or need that’s met.Ī meltdown is usually related to sensory overload (overtired, over thirsty, too cold, etc) and the child is reacting to being overwhelmed. “I want more tv” or “I want more chocolate”. Once the need is met, the behavior stops. Tantrums are a way to communicate a need or a want. It’s very common because they’re learning to express themselves and have autonomy. They can say “no”, they can refuse, they can hit, spit and kick. They have words and a voice and more autonomy than they’ve ever had, compared to when they’re a baby. They’re still learning how to control their impulses. It can happen at any stage or age, but typically we hear about it most happening in the toddler stage, because they are still learning how to balance themselves. Lockhart: When I look at tantrums, I see tantrums as something that’s very healthy and developmentally appropriate. Laura: What your definition of meltdown is vs.
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